Happy Valentine's Day.
Here's what I'm doing today. I don't have a mate or a date this year, and that's cool with me. I've decided make the day an opportunity to remind myself that every cell and wisp of us benefits from love, and that the primary and most constant source of love is our own internal love engines. Our hearts. Our hearts that need to glow for ourselves, too. So, if I have a thought or feeling that is not supportive and loving of myself, I'm noticing it, then stopping it and instead smiling at the part of myself that the internal editor was trying to dis. I'm keeping this quote from James Hollis in my awareness, and smiling at every part of myself that has not been supported by capitalist, patriarchal culture and society. I'm appreciating all my quirks and soaking them in light and love. And I'm wishing the same for all of you.
Also, I'm making Dorie Greenspan's World Peace Cookies (using Kakao chocolate), my mother's hamburger pie (my favorite comfort dish; with local, grassfed beef and organic everything), and having either a glass of red wine or a Side Project beer that I picked up yesterday. (Note: mentioning the brands is not for product placement, but to emphasize that for me, spreading the love by using local goods and those that are created without labor exploitation or overuse of resources is part of what makes my heart glow; and also that I'm treating myself right!)
“We are not here to fit in, be well balanced, or provide exempla for others. We are here to be eccentric, different, perhaps strange, perhaps merely to add our small piece, our little clunky, chunky selves, to the great mosaic of being. As the gods intended, we are here to become more and more ourselves.”
― James Hollis, What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life
#valentines #loveallourparts #loveourselves #love #hearts #thingsofmine#survivor
#trauma #healing #oyster #pearl #acorn #valentine2016
Cross-posted on Huffington Post here
Here's the thing about this saying, attributed to Lao Tzu (just below, in quotes), and others like it, which are very popular on the interwebs: It's (unintentionally) blaming people with anxiety or depression for their own anxiety or depression, and it's ignoring the importance of the body in experience.
"If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present."
Unless there's something I'm not getting, the gist is that if a person is depressed or anxious, their problem is they are not living in the present moment, that their thoughts are in the past or the future, and, therefore, it follows, their depression or anxiety would disappear if they would just bring their thoughts into the present.
So what's wrong with that? . . . Click here to read the rest of this esssay on Margaret's Huffington Post Blog!
Margaret Howard, MFA, LCSW
Depth somatics psychotherapist, regenerative gardener, writer, elder, explorer.